My forth child was born recently and I came to conclusion quickly that if I'm to keep up with my troupe I needed to take better care of myself. It was no surprise to me. I’ve been accused of being “poor at self-care” for years. My parents are experts in that field and had passed their determination to put their kids first down to me. Fortunately, I can now see the toll that’s taken on them. That fact combined with the reality that I would not be having anymore pregnancies to hide behind made this the right time for me to take my own wellbeing seriously. Postpartum depression has lingered in my life over the last 5 years and I'm hoping that this time will be different. I also have Multiple Sclerosis, which I know is lingering in the shadows waiting to rear its ugly head. Finally, I also want to introduce my girls to a side of me they’ve never seen. I want to raise girls who crave and enjoy the physicality of sport. Deciding to join the Mommy Wellness class was just a small step in the right direction, but a very crucial one. I know that not only will my physical wellbeing improve, but also my emotional stability. Initially I was elated to have made this choice and be given the chance to start on a new path, but then that "little voice" started talking and then it got louder and I nearly talked myself out of it. Luckily I had enough sense to rebuttal all the "what ifs" and “laters" and realize that there is no better time than the present.
Headed to my first session with Fit By Design I had built up a lot of anxiety about the class, my own capabilities and Sabrina's expectations of me. Once I arrived I could breathe deep realizing that the other women were each just like me in some way; car seat toting, child wrangling, completely uncoordinated and sleep deprived with a few pounds to lose. Hurdle one out of the way! Then I stepped into the gym, saw the bags, realized we would be using them and suddenly I was right back at anxiety overload. I had always thought kick boxing looked cool and easy on TV, but how was this kickboxing virgin going to do a whole work out not knowing a single move? Again my fears were quickly put to rest. Sabrina took the time to individually show the first timers the routine and technique. She emphasized taking our time and cheered our developments which meant that my capabilities, at whatever stage they may be at, were good enough. It was clear that eventually I would master these new moves, but for the time being whatever I brought to the gym was good enough.
I left the gym that morning worried that I hadn't worked hard enough, that I had wasted a workout. That evening when was rolling giant snow balls with my girls, I quickly felt that I had done just the right amount and was thankful I had heeded Sabrina's advice to take it easy my first time out.
Upon reflection I’m thankful for two things; the women in our group are fantastic, supportive and welcoming and secondly, I am not the person I was10 years ago. The person I was 10 years ago would have walked out of class and not returned. I would not have known the invisible safety net that other mothers create if you let them. Other mothers can empathize and encourage. Looking back on today, I felt it. So while I’m improving my self-care, I will go back because Sabrina’s Mommy Wellness class is a safe and inspiring place to be vulnerable and work on myself. “