What an amazing weekend! Beautiful fall days are so great to go for a run. I belong to a fun little Sunday run club and this morning we did 7 km run/walk around Mac Park. I need to get out one more time each week for a run. It is such a fun thing to do with people at all different levels.
Bootcamp was amazing again this week. I loved the Cardio Parner Circuit. That really kicked my butt! Some of the harder moves scare me and I always try do the modified version. I fear burpies. I wish I could do them as easily as the children in my class but no such luck. I have a goal to do 5 strong burpies one day.
My lack of weighloss has been perplexing and depressing me. Week 2 I actually gained two pounds and this week I put on .4 of a pound. I know I ate well and clean. My bootcamp buddies tell me I am gaining muscle. When you have as much weight to lose as I do this is very disheartening. I am going to look to Sabrina for some guidance. I see some amazing stories of lifestyle changes and huge weight losses. I am ready for it.
Friday night was my exception to my healthy eating week. I attended an amazing 80's party where all of my good intentions quickly went down the tubes. It was not horrific, but it was not good. I know it is life, but one evening can sure negate any success you had during the week. I have to ask myself..... during this journey is it really worth it?
This was a good week. I feel like I have exercising under control. I must admit I am enjoying the these sessions and I find Fit By Design so much more fun than working out on my own.
I attended boot camp each day and also did hill climbs with family and friends. Now that I am back to work full time I will only be attending in the evenings. I will have to add lots of activity on top of that.
What I feel I really need to work on is my emotional eating and negative, almost hateful feelings toward myself. I want to make use of the power of positive thought. Feeling negative and having destructive feelings toward my efforts has always been common place. I am quick to give up and sabotage myself. I am not sure if I think I cannot have success with diet and exercise or if I think I just don't deserve that success.
My whole life has been about trying to lose weight. My pocket book agrees with this. I am realizing that there are more important things than just losing a lot of weight. I need to rewire my whole brain. Thanks to Angela's session I have come to realize that I have done a lot of damage over the years with my thoughts. I am feeling much more comfortable about looking in the mirror and using some encouraging thoughts and words.
We only have one chance at this life and I want to make mine much more happy, full of patience, motivation, kindness and love. I am looking forward to this upcoming week with excitement. It will be busy but I will keep working hard. I love the changes I am seeing and feeling.
It’s great when you lose a pound or ten… but often it’s not just about losing weight.
For me, it’s about makes healthy changes that support the lifestyle I want. The pounds sure help… but the non scale victories can be equally important.
I had a NSV when I completed Zumba Instructor training with friend, and fellow boot camper, Andrea. From there we learnt and practiced 8 tracks to deliver to fellow participants, as part of the Warrior Women Challenge.
I had a few moments of nervous anticipation on arrival due to the thrill of finally being able to finally lead a class... and WOW! It was so much fun!
I left the class on a high… but in the back of my mind, I knew I would later be dealing with the aftermath. Photographic evidence.
One of the things I love about Zumba is the feeling of letting go and allowing the music to take control. You are absolutely the best dancer in the room if you want to be! (and even though, I don’t actually think I am the best dancer, I feel like I am putting my soul into it and that helps me to get the most out of it). It’s about having fun and moving.
I felt slightly different after a friend had posted THIS picture of us on instagram and shared it on facebook.
The following is a direct excerpt from my brain, which spans about 10 seconds in duration.
Panic….. People will see that picture of me.
Despair…..People will judge me.
Horror…. I look horrendous.
Irrationality… People I don’t know will hate me.
Regret …. I knew I shouldn’t have worn those pink pants
AAAAGH …. Just aaagh
Sadness…. I look awful
Anger…. How did I become like this?
Confusion… Why would anyone upload a picture like this?
Reasoning… Maybe if I ask, she will take it down?
Hope…. Maybe no one has seen it?
Reality… Maybe everyone has seen it?
Delusional … Maybe they didn't notice how fat I am?
But then… something changed. I had my first non scale victory in a long time. I continued looking at the picture and this happened.
I look happy?
I was happy…
I am happy.
It doesn't matter.
I have evolved.
It was fun.
Andrea was awesome.
I sure love Zumba.
Wish the stereo was louder.
I guess people might have noticed how happy I was.
I still want to look better though
I still want to feel better
I want to rock that zumba class like it’s going out of style.
I am glad I wore those Zumba pants.
They are pretty fucking pink though.
Oh well, at least you could see me.
Yeah, but they’re sooooo pink.
I wonder what this picture of us will look like in another year?
And there it is….
In that one minute I realized that I have evolved. I don’t need to judge myself on my weight. That is obvious from the photo. What the photo does not tell you…
How much fun I had
How proud I was
How alive I felt!
I am probably not the only woman to scrutinize a picture and pick it apart in an almost clinical and irrational way, but this time, the end results were positive.
That, my friends, is a non scale victory! And I am almost certain I am going to wear those pink Zumba pants again!
week 1 reflection
Sunday September 14
What an amazing first week. I feel like a new person. My body is firmer and I feel I am stronger in such a short time. I always felt that the only person I could count on for weight loss and fitness was myself. No wonder I never had any success. The community of women in this group energize and inspire me.
My week was full of zumba, boot camp, kick boxing, running and hill climbing.
Never before have I enjoyed exercise so much. It was SO MUCH FUN!
I remember my kickboxing partner's surprise at how the class flew by. It is because it was so enjoyable and full of laughs. I have made it through the stiffness and pain but I have to say....... side planks are not your friend!!
I will say goodbye to the blues and feeling bad about myself.
Those are long gone and I cannot wait to see what is in store for this week!
Read the last installment of Kaleigh's journey and her introduction to the challenge here...
The Journey Begins...
My name is Kaleigh and I am ecstatic to begin my journey toward wellness.
I like many, have tried every diet and exercise program known to woman, and had little success.
I think this time it is going to be different.
I thank everyone who gave me the opportunity to participate in this Warrior Woman Challenge. I feel like I have already won the challenge and I cant wait to see the changes in myself in the next six weeks.
Today I attended the morning class. What an amazing concept. Boot Camp in the park as the children play near by. The women in the morning were amazing. I felt very welcome and was impressed by the friendships and genuine happiness the women felt toward seeing each other. I was really not pleased with my measurements but those will quickly change.
I also attended the evening class which was also amazing. We quickly got underway with our strength tests. They were just a baseline to begin this journey. My planking ability has a long way to go!! I am off to bed now. We will see how stiff I am in the morning!